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By the same token, if one party is really delaying marriage (going beyond 4 years), then it’s not a matter of being cautious, it’s a sign that he/she doesn’t really want to get married.
Other useful takeaways: •Happily married couples shared many traits, including courtships that progressed smoothly toward marriage with little drama; their courtships had a quiet, romantic feeling, but as important, they sensed they were marrying someone who could be a good friend.
We asked psychiatrist Gail Saltz to weigh in on the idea of planning to get married after a whirlwind romance.
When you look at the celebrity world, you get the feeling that everyone leaps into marriage, only to be followed by a quick fizzle and divorce.
I was about to be homeless, jobless and had no idea what my next move was. I cannot tell you how good it felt to be asked out in person. I don’t think you should persuade someone to marry you in three weeks if the feelings aren’t completely mutual.]For us there was no convincing. It also helped that our values were perfectly aligned. We texted our closest friends on morning of Sunday, July 13th, 2014. We didn’t date for 1 years before he proposed to me on one knee during a trip to the coast.We met late in the summer of 2013 at a mutual friend’s BBQ. Going to that wedding with him, made it very clear to me that I was in love with him. I don’t really know how to put our connection into words. I never really dated a guy that had similar interests as me, had similar style to mine, or that would be considered as ‘my type’. There was one thing that really struck me about him… Since we had so many mutual friends, it was the people around who adored him. You’re then in a constant power struggle for the upper hand in the relationship.We were both in unhealthy, on & off, long term [and long distance in my case] relationships. We both knew the couple getting married so it wasn’t awkward. When I was around him I didn’t think about anyone else, I didn’t want to look at my phone, and I didn’t think about how the life I had known for the last four years was falling apart right under me. I was constantly being told how great of a guy he was and how much he was admired by people that I knew and trusted.“Elena, if you elope…I will cut you a fat check.” My dad was a wonderful man, but he had terrible luck with women. You decide to stay together because you are inconvenienced by the thought of starting over with someone new.In fact, they tended to divorce quicker than those with short courtships.Again, there are a couple of reasons why taking too long is a bad sign: It’s not so much that people wait too long to get married, but that they stay in a relationship that never was built to last.